Failure is something that every kid encounters. What should we do to help them learn from their mistakes? As parents of adolescents, you are probably going to find yourself in a moment where your child has failed at something. It could be an academic failure where they didn't get the grade they hoped for. It could be a failed friendship or relationship. It could even be a moment where they made a bad decision and found themselves in sin. Whatever the failure, what do we tell our kids when they mess up? Let me suggest a few ideas...

Ask what led to the failure. I had a professor say that we don't learn from our experiences unless we stop to process our experiences. It is important for kids to be able to identify why they failed. Along with that, we all need to own our part, and not ignore our role in the problem. Proverbs 4:26 says, "Ponder the path of your feet; then all your ways will be sure." We are called to evaluate where we have been and where we are going.
Remind them that Jesus is still with us, even in our failures. One of the most reassuring verses in the Bible comes at the end of the great commission in Matthew 28:20 where Jesus says, "And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age." And in Hebrews 13:5 we are reminded that he will never leave us or forsake us. Even in our deepest failures, Jesus is with us. He himself knows our pain. As Jesus hung on the cross, many of his followers probably saw him as a failure. But through his resurrection, Jesus has overcome. Jesus is with us when we face failure to give us his presence, peace and power to move forward. And in the case of sin, he is there waiting for us to confess our failure and repent. He offers us a level of forgiveness that is immeasurable.
Ask them how they can prevent a similar failure in the future. When we recognize the reason behind our failures and the role that we played, we are less likely to repeat the same mistake. Many times there are some new procedures that we can put in place to help. When it comes to our spiritual lives Psalm 119:11 says, "I have stored up your word in my heart, that I might not sin against you." One of the great steps we can take to avoid sin, is simply to internalize the Word of God. I want to encourage you to challenge your child to memorize scripture when they fail, because scripture can help guide them to make decisions which honor God and bring him glory.

All of us will find ourselves in places of failure, but if we take the time to reflect on the situation, we can move forward in maturity, growing in our faith and becoming more like Jesus.